Our Smithsonian: Love in the time of coronavirus

Love will always find a way, even in these uncertain times. Ruth Shirley and Alex Duplessie weren’t about to let a little thing like a pandemic keep them from their romantic destiny. Ruth shares the story of their virtual wedding ceremony.

Alex Duplessie and I have been together for eight years. He proposed on February 15, 2018 and we began planning our wedding for March 29, 2020.

Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans! As the coronavirus pandemic spread and social distancing became vital, we knew we had to put the safety of our friends and family ahead of our plans and made the hard decision to postpone our long-awaited wedding.

Ruth Shirley manages a selfie and a mooch simultaneously.

Fortunately for us, my church community had set up a Zoom account to hold virtual church services. Knowing we had waited two years for this moment, the Rev. Matthew Glasgow was incredibly supportive and reassuring through both the postponement of the big celebrations but also in setting up a Zoom meeting where our friends and family could share in our actual wedding ceremony remotely. With some rearranged lighting and a few folding chairs. Alex and I were able to set up an cozy spot in our home where photos of family and friends, along with our favorite books, filled the background.

The makeshift wedding chapel.

My wedding dress is still in storage at my parents’ house, so I put on a dress i had worn at a bridal shower. Alex had his suit available and we played our song for the ceremony (“Anne’s Song” by John Denver.) Alex teared up when we first saw each other all dolled up.

We opened the Zoom meeting an hour before we were scheduled to begin to allow for technical trouble-shooting and a chance to say hello and visit with all the people we’ve been missing. It was chaotic and delightful! People turned their cameras on with virtual church backgrounds, others layered sports coats and ties over their t-shirts, my little sister and cousin (both bridesmaids) put on their bridesmaid dresses and my father put on his suit.

From left, Ruth Shirley’s sister (a bridesmaid), grandmother and mother watch the ceremony. Photo by the father of the bride.

Rev. Matthew Glasgow conducted the ceremony.

The ceremony was simple and short, with a few beautiful words about marriage spoken by Rev.Glasgow; we then read our vows to each other and exchanged rings.

Afterward, many friends and family members that had tuned in said the ceremony was beautiful and intimate. The video conference allowed them to see our faces and hear our vows more clearly than at some in-person weddings they had attended.

The happy couple and some of their guests share a toast.

We are over-the-moon with delight to be married and still look forward to a big in-person celebration later this summer, when we can hug and be with all the loved ones we miss so much. Till then, Alex is continuing to work toward his MBA with virtual classes, I continue to telework and our dog Mabel enjoys all the extra walks.

Alex, Ruth and Mabel.

Ruth Shirley is a Visitor Experience Associate at the National Museum of American History. She and Alex are perfectly happy sharing their social isolation.

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